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The year is 2018. The earth has been overrun by glaciers and coyotes, and one of those two things will eat your face off if you don’t watch out. I’ve seen a lot of movies in my day. Some bad, some good, some that I can’t stop thinking about for days after watching them - but Ice Age: Collision Course might be the worst movie I have ever seen in my life. Don’t believe me? Read on. *WARNING: This review contains spoilers for the previous four Ice Age movies. If you haven’t seen them yet but you still want to, I would give this movie a miss until you do. You can come back after you’ve watched all four and then read this review with the following thought in mind: “I wish I had my life to live over again.” If that’s not warning enough, then just remember that my job is to give honest reviews so my boss doesn’t kill me*. It is not my job to protect your delicate feelings. There are no triggers in this review. Read onward, if you dare. *My boss is actually a shark with human intelligence who is about twice as smart as me. He has an English degree from the University of Illinois. I have no idea why he lives in Florida where there are no lakes or rivers for him to swim in, but that’s not my place to ask. The year is 2018. The earth has been overwhelmed by glaciers and coyotes, and one of those two things will eat your face off if you don’t watch out. What’s the movie about? It’s about mu mu, a dopey looking dog from outer space who crashes his spaceship in a field in South Dakota. He is found by Manny the mammoth, his best friend and sidekick, and Sierra the sloth. All three are members of a tribe of humans called “Paleo-Indians” which is fun to say. They lead a very quiet life in that field until they get attacked by “The Rats” and their leader, Pterodactylus Rex (who looks like a bird). Pterodactylus Rex has a plan to help him protect his tribe from the encroaching glaciers and coyotes, but first he needs to persuade these three beings that he’s not crazy. He needs them to believe in him, trust him, and work with him if they’re going to be a success. Meanwhile, there is a kid named Diego who lives with his single mom Tanya. She works as a waitress at a diner called “The Diner” which sounds like a redneck version of Freddy's. He is lonely because his dad left years ago and hasn't been back since. cfa1e77820
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